Posts Tagged “tips”

It seems I may have offended Death Knights in yesterday’s post.

I could say that no offense was intended.  I could say that I was actually mocking the tanking community (and, by extension, the WoW community) for their attitudes towards Death Knights.

But now, I don’t want to.  You have convinced me that it is much more fun to keep babbling on about DK’s rather than merely apologising.  Because, as we all know, apologising is for Mages, Sissies, and People Who Are Often Wrong.

OK, Death Knights, here is our two prong approach to fixing your problem.

1.  ‘There are so many crappy Death Knights!’

Well DUH.  Every man and his dog is going to roll the class that starts FIFTY EIGHT levels ahead of the rest of us.  Simple logic really.

  • Starting 58 levels ahead is kinda lazy
  • The average person is lazy
  • Therefore, everyone will want to start 58 levels ahead.

Unfortunately, many of us are not good at Death Knightery.  That’s OK, I am sure they are all good at something else.  Like crocheting.  So, we simply need to persuade these people to not play a Death Knight anymore.

We could always tell them that they just suck at the DK.  In my experience, people do not take this too well at all.  This may lead to you being called an elitist asshat, or worse.

Or, we could just kill them.

We’d be doing the world a favour, really.

2.  Death Knights doesn’t afraid of anything!  Except a wee bit of mockery.

Death Knights are like the new plate wearing Mage.  They stand around, try hard to look pretty, and QQ at the drop of a hat.  Not the way to behave for the class that is trying to take the evil mantle from Warlocks.

Stop crying when we pick on you.  Instead, grab the said mocker’s face, and smash it into the nearest Runeforge.  Then stick your nice specially enchanted weapon right up their posterior, until they beg for mercy.  I would suggest you stop if they are doing the wrong sort of begging as well, since that means they enjoy that kinda thing *looks at the Mages*.

Stand up for yourselves!

Also: This is really just a sneaky way to write a post about RealID, without putting RealID in the title or in the majority of the post, I have tricked you into reading something that ultimately is about something you are not at all interested in because you have heard it so many times already and OMG just shut up about it!

Also, thanks to BRK for letting me shamelessly steal his technique of conveying messages.  And by letting me, I refer to the type of letting that happens without consultation… so the ‘letting’ in that sentence is utterly pointless.  He didn’t let me at all.  But that’s OK, ‘cos he’s just a Hunter, after all.  Just a big red scary one.  /hides

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Technically, I have quit WoW blogging.

Technicalities be damned!  There are Warlocks out there in dire need of advice, and I refuse to leave any man, woman or imp dateless this Valentine’s Day.  You might be one of those shy retiring Warlocks… the kind who hide behind their doomguard (now that summoning the big bastard is totally harmless, and no one is going to scream about the Warlock killing the Mage random raid member – again).  You might be too busy slaving away killing Hunters all day and cleaning the muck up all night (seriously… just avoid the Hunters with bears.  Trust me on this one… *flicks random poop-like substance off robe*) to think about how to charm your sweet one for the tackiest, most commercial occasion of the year. 

Never fear, Sar is here to help you with some handy tips, great advice, and she’s even blowing a myth or two out of the water in the bargain.

1.  No one REALLY wants those impersonal flowers.  Go one better.

According to popular wisdom, the best gifts are personal.  You know, thoughtful and shit like that.  Well, who can go past a Soul Shard made from your sweet one’s worst enemy?  One of a kind, glorious chunk of soul… and best of all, they’ll be obsolete come Cataclysm, so you get the bonus of offloading something which is soon to become a total heap of junk!  Just don’t tell your honey that shiny purple sparkly is going to be as worthless as a brain scan on a Mage.

2.  Seduction is completely overrated

I don’t know about you guys, but when I get Domxia to seduce something for me, it always ends the same way.  The romance wears off, the stupid bimbo comes trotting back to me… followed by a really angry mob intent on smashing my gorgeous face in.  Clearly NOT a success.

So, I guess you have a couple of options:  Either cut out the middle man, and work on your own seducing skills… or wait for someone to toddle over your way.  I personally favour the direct approach (something along the lines of ‘Will you be my Valentine?  Oh, no?’ /incinerate).  Works every time.

3.  It’s all in the details.

Ever had the most wonderful date lined up, only to realise that you are completely boned because your only mode of transportation is Dad’s daggy old Datsun (complete with cigarette burns in the seat and funky old foam smell)?  Transport your date with class via a shiny, glamorous red portal!  Nothing says consideration like ‘Send me a tell when you are done honey, and I’ll summon you’.

datsunSeriously… which would YOU rather jump into?  

4.  Competition be damned!

Nothing worse than planning to make a move, only to have that pesky sneaky bastard of a Rogue sneak in on your target.  Show them who’s boss by casting fear on them… over and over and over.  It’s amazing how unimpressive someone suddenly looks when they run around, waving their hands and pooping their pants.  No one steals a Warlock’s date!

5.  Endless Kisses?

Unending Breath.  So many uses… and your honey is sure to appreciate whatever it is you manage to come up with.

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