Posts Tagged “Mage”

No, this blog has not been hi-jacked.  I have not been brain washed, drug addled, bribed, or in any other way forced to write something nice about the other caster in the game, Mages.

The other day Gnomeaggedon tried to be funny and wrote a nice little article about Warlocks.  Now, I promised retribution… but I had to go away for a few days, and it just never happened.  However, I had plenty of time to think while I was gone, and I have decided to be the bigger person (in more ways than one!)  So, I thought I’d write about all the things I adore about Mage folk.  After all, when you have a good long think about it, there are many things to love about our lesser cousins.

1.  Going Fishing.

You don’t even need to max your skill (although it is good fun to practice)

Mages: They’ll bite every time!

2.  And Let There Be Blandness… and so there was!

I have never been a confident cook.  No Chef’s Hat, no title… I’m just a boring old cook who slops some stuff in a pot, chucks it over the fire, and calls it a day.  Some days, my efforts are so pathetically poor that I am tempted to chuck my apron and call it quits.

Then I try some Mage strudel.

Suddenly, my cooking tastes one hundred times better!  Filling, substantial, tasty… oh my goodness what you can do when you cook from more than some revolting old dust!

(For verification of the un-substantial nature of Mage Strudel, see here, where a Mage spills the beans!)

3.  Puntability.

Mages of all sizes are great for punting.  Thanks to the afore mentioned diet of unsubstantial food, the lack of exercise from porting their butts everywhere, and the roundness of their heads from one too many Intellect buffs, all Mages are feather light and fly amazingly well.  Kinda like a shuttlecock. 

Ball = Mage Headshuttle_cock4 Feathers = Mage Dress

So, to bust a myth, ALL Mages can be punted, not just the Gnomes.  Gnomes just happen to make a better squeak noise.

4.  The Great Race

As much as Warlocks are above foolish epeening… it is always nice to have someone to beat on the meter.


So, what is it you love about Mages?  I promise, I won’t tell a soul you said something nice about the poor creatures ;-)

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In the interest of educating my guildies and friends, I have decided a post is long overdue on the differences between Mages and Warlocks.  Since, y’know, we are so hard to tell apart!



Summon their powers from the Nether… or somewhere else sufficiently evil and awesome. Summon their powers from Carebear land.  I think.  I’m pretty sure there are flowers and cupcakes.
Have kick ass minions that also look evil and awesome.  They also have scary sounding abilities like ‘Shadow Bite’. Probably don’t have minions.  Unless they have a Squirtle.  Those things are more amusing than intimidating – “I’m going to get you marginally wet!  Squirt!”
Are tough enough to kill themselves if it’s absolutely necessary.  Who else would have the balls to set themselves on fire? Use a variety of sneaky, wimpy tricks such as Invisibility and Ice Block.
Make awesome green healthstones that make the raid smile.  Don’t ask why they are green… Make excessive strudel.  Which lacks tastiness.
Throw around a lot of fire and shadowy doom in an impressive display of power. Throw one of the following: weird purple shit that you’d expect to see coming from a fairy; fire that is infinitely more pathetic looking than my own; stupid frost things that logically SHOULD melt. 

That is, if they aren’t being wimpy and casting Ice Block or something.  Or Blinking away from the fight.


Seriously, how hard is it to tell?  If it’s not awesome, it’s not a ‘lock.



P.S.  In other news, last night after a semi-drunken escapade to the pub, I made an alt in Miss Medicina’s version of the new blogging related guild Single Abstract Noun.  I don’t know how I will go with levelling (I’m kinda fail at that), but it should be fun.  I had a fantastic time going through all the names to see which bloggers I could identify.  Krizzlybear also helped me come up with a great name for my baby Warlock – Sarcolepsy!  Whoo hoo!

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