Posts Tagged “epeen”

Hi.  I play a DPS class (2 of them, actually).

As such, I understand that the Triumvirate of Tanks (The Death Knights have yet to be allowed membership into the sacred order – go whinge about it on your own blogs, suckers) and the Holy Healership of, um, Healers require me to surrender the following, immediately:

  • The will to question orders
  • The ability to read anything other than a Tankspot strat, and the Elitist Jerks page for my class.  Reading anything else leads to questioning.  Questioning is bad.
  • My brain
  • A minimum of 10 years of my life, to fit into the ‘immature child’ part of the enforced stereotype

I am, however, allowed to keep the following:

  • My face, because that’s how DPS plays the game, right?
  • A membership in the ‘I, Uh, Duh…. DeePeeEss’ club.  Whether I wanted it or not.

I have complained many a time about how DPS are perceived as stupid, selfish, greedy little bastards who care only about the meters and epeen.  Apparently, it is impossible to make a great contribution to the raid as a DPS.  We are there to follow the orders of the tanks, make sure we don’t drop too low on the meter by simultaneously staring at it and not paying too much attention to it, watch our threat but don’t dare ease back on the DPS because “OMG you lazy DPS are too slow and are killing us!”, and to respect the healers who treat us as the butt of all jokes because they are apparently naturally superior to us.  Oh, and while you are staring at the damage meter and the threat meter and watching where the hell that crazy tank is facing the boss today, make sure you don’t stand in the bad.  Even if it is expected of you, you brainless DPS.

Of course, I won’t even bother going into the fact that I must be a truly inferior DPS, being that I’m a girl, and must only be there for the Vent lols and because my ‘boyfriend’ (who is a tank/healer and therefore important) threatened to drop raid if I didn’t come.  That is a) a whole other blog post; b) something that, as far as I am aware, has never been a problem for me, just many other women and c) let’s face it, it’s a damned tired old topic.

Apparently, my complaints have gone unheeded.  I guess it is time for me to give up and just follow directions (I heard that ‘For once in your life!’, you lot in the tank corner.  Bite me).

So, here you go.

cardboard-box-open-lgI just ask that you be careful.  My brain has been feeling particularly squooshy as of late.

And remember, I’ll probably need all that crap back when I decide to tank or heal on my Druid.  Since that apparently is much harder than my current job.  Just so you are all aware.  Thanks!

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So, it looks like Affliction will be top dog in Icecrown.

You know what?  That’s peachy fine by me.  Yes, long gone are the days where I really cared about Destruction being the top DPS spec (OK.. I lie… I would have always been Destruction no matter what – see Vanilla WoW!).  I’ve stopped caring that I keep getting beaten by Arcane Mages with their two button spam.  After all, I’m pretty gimpy anyway, no sense getting my knickers in a twist!  So what that I only do 4.5k DPS (in a 25man, too!) when the Arcane Mage is pushing 8 or 9k.  I don’t mind.  I try my best with what I have.  Slowly but surely, my gear is getting better, and I might even improve some.  Scary, huh?

It doesn’t matter that people say only scrubs do 4.5k.  I don’t feel bad when people talk about doing 9k DPS on Twitter.

I’ll always have SSC.  When I am alone and cold in the night time, I think back and remember how I trampled those bosses.  How I smashed my way to the top of the meter, joining the guild as an undergeared Kara player who had never set foot in a 25 man in her life, and worked my way up.  Even though there were nights when I was close to giving up, when I thought I could never push the sort of numbers they needed, I kept going.

Eventually, I got somewhere.

damage meter SSC






And then came BT.

damage meter BT






Single target DPS baby!

… So what, I like to epeen a little, OK?

Thing is… DPS goes in cycles.  You can’t be the top dog forever.  But you can damned well enjoy it while you are :-)

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