Technically, I have quit WoW blogging.
Technicalities be damned! There are Warlocks out there in dire need of advice, and I refuse to leave any man, woman or imp dateless this Valentine’s Day. You might be one of those shy retiring Warlocks… the kind who hide behind their doomguard (now that summoning the big bastard is totally harmless, and no one is going to scream about the Warlock killing the
Mage random raid member – again). You might be too busy slaving away killing Hunters all day and cleaning the muck up all night (seriously… just avoid the Hunters with bears. Trust me on this one… *flicks random poop-like substance off robe*) to think about how to charm your sweet one for the tackiest, most commercial occasion of the year.
Never fear, Sar is here to help you with some handy tips, great advice, and she’s even blowing a myth or two out of the water in the bargain.
1. No one REALLY wants those impersonal flowers. Go one better.
According to popular wisdom, the best gifts are personal. You know, thoughtful and shit like that. Well, who can go past a Soul Shard made from your sweet one’s worst enemy? One of a kind, glorious chunk of soul… and best of all, they’ll be obsolete come Cataclysm, so you get the bonus of offloading something which is soon to become a total heap of junk! Just don’t tell your honey that shiny purple sparkly is going to be as worthless as a brain scan on a Mage.
2. Seduction is completely overrated
I don’t know about you guys, but when I get Domxia to seduce something for me, it always ends the same way. The romance wears off, the stupid bimbo comes trotting back to me… followed by a really angry mob intent on smashing my gorgeous face in. Clearly NOT a success.
So, I guess you have a couple of options: Either cut out the middle man, and work on your own seducing skills… or wait for someone to toddle over your way. I personally favour the direct approach (something along the lines of ‘Will you be my Valentine? Oh, no?’ /incinerate). Works every time.
3. It’s all in the details.
Ever had the most wonderful date lined up, only to realise that you are completely boned because your only mode of transportation is Dad’s daggy old Datsun (complete with cigarette burns in the seat and funky old foam smell)? Transport your date with class via a shiny, glamorous red portal! Nothing says consideration like ‘Send me a tell when you are done honey, and I’ll summon you’.
4. Competition be damned!
Nothing worse than planning to make a move, only to have that pesky sneaky bastard of a Rogue sneak in on your target. Show them who’s boss by casting fear on them… over and over and over. It’s amazing how unimpressive someone suddenly looks when they run around, waving their hands and pooping their pants. No one steals a Warlock’s date!
5. Endless Kisses?
Unending Breath. So many uses… and your honey is sure to appreciate whatever it is you manage to come up with.Tags: datsun, seduction, tips, valentines day, Warlock