Posts Tagged “Burnout”

I have the mobile armory on my iPhone, but I’ll readily admit I almost never make use of it.  I don’t know too many people who play WoW, so I don’t do the whole ‘Hey, check my toon out!’ thing.  Hell, even if I did know a heap of people, I still wouldn’t do that.  I don’t bother looking up other people, because I have no real reason to.

However, I was lying in bed last night, and I was bored, so I thought I’d have a little poke around and see what it did (especially since there was an update!)  I didn’t find any fun new features, but I did find out some interesting information.

Turns out, I haven’t done anything meaningful on my Warlock in three months.  Three months ago, I got a Frost Emblem.  That is the last thing I can see in my activity feed.

Which, to me, sounds about right.  I quit playing my 80’s just before the new raid came out.  I just didn’t realise it was that long ago.

I also haven’t logged in to the game at all in a month.  Which is actually really terrible, and means I’ve been neglecting my guild, as well as an awful lot of other things (see: this blog).  I keep telling myself that I’ll play more when my desktop is functional again, but I think that’s just an excuse.  A few months ago, I would have been repairing my desktop the minute it died.  I wouldn’t let it sit there, broken, for a month.  I wouldn’t let my WoW account lie there, untouched, for a month.  I’d be on, I’d be trying to recruit, I’d be working on getting my alt to 80, I’d be working on keeping my Warlock at least somewhat up to date.

Now? Nothing.

I know I’m a little disenchanted with the whole game.  Heaven knows a break may have been a good thing.  But, you can’t just take time off when you have some level of responsibility.  The responsibility to be seen, the responsibility to be organising stuff, the responsibility to be around when people need you or want something.

I sound like an utter lunatic just for thinking this stuff, I’m sure.  I should put aside some of the things I have been spending my time on (futile chasing after a guy?  Excessive socialising [read: drinking]?  Re-reading every book on my bookshelf?) so that I can get back in the game and do all the crap I am meant to be doing.  My non-WoW playing friends would think I was insane, and no doubt some of you do as well.

I guess the big question here is, just how much of a space in your life should the game have?  I know this isn’t the first time I’ve grappled with this, and it won’t be the last.  How much should I push life aside for the game?  When is it OK to say, no, sorry, I don’t want to do that because I want to work on my video game?

All I know is, I’m going to log in today, see what the hell is left of my guild, and begin working on it again.  And pray that not everyone wants to kill me for mysteriously disappearing for so long.

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I need a raid break.  You know how you hit that point where logging in on a raid night just feels tedious?  Painful?  Like your head wants to explode?  Yeah, I have most definitely reached that point.

On Tuesday, as the group for the weekly was forming, I panicked and hastily /quit.  Not sure why, but the thought of doing something in a raid made me want to slam my head into a monitor.  Even if it only WAS Ignis.

Oh god, It’s Ulduar AGAIN?”

Crap, I have to kill trash?”

I have to kill FLAME LEVIATHAN again??”

Oh god, I have to put up with being stuck in a bucket?”

“AAARGH I can not do this!”


Seriously.  That all ran through my head in about 2 seconds flat.  It was sheer panic, people!

So, I am having a break.  Sure, they might get Lich King down without me.  The strange thing is, I just don’t care anymore.  I remember when missing a boss downing was the single worst thing I could do.  I was devastated when I missed a handful of first kills in BC when I got a new work schedule.  Now, I couldn’t give a damn, and I don’t even give a damn that I don’t give a damn.

I don’t know what I will do in the game if I am not raiding.  The thought of battlegrounds makes me want to punch a baby in the face.  Questing is OMG urgh.  I could turn my attention fully to guild recruitment, but I think we all know that the time for recruitment is really not right now.  I’m not sure what I am going to do.

But I don’t much care anyway!  Bring on Cataclysm I say, so I can talk about Warlocks and Destruction properly again.  In my improper, gut instinct fashion, because that’s much more fun than plowing through math, damn it.

Also: I’m going to Blizzcon!  Huzzah, people!

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