Hi.  I play a DPS class (2 of them, actually).

As such, I understand that the Triumvirate of Tanks (The Death Knights have yet to be allowed membership into the sacred order – go whinge about it on your own blogs, suckers) and the Holy Healership of, um, Healers require me to surrender the following, immediately:

• The will to question orders
• The ability to read anything other than a Tankspot strat, and the Elitist Jerks page for my class.  Reading anything else leads to questioning.  Questioning is bad.
• My brain
• A minimum of 10 years of my life, to fit into the ‘immature child’ part of the enforced stereotype

I am, however, allowed to keep the following:

• My face, because that’s how DPS plays the game, right?
• A membership in the ‘I, Uh, Duh…. DeePeeEss’ club.  Whether I wanted it or not.

I have complained many a time about how DPS are perceived as stupid, selfish, greedy little bastards who care only about the meters and epeen.  Apparently, it is impossible to make a great contribution to the raid as a DPS.  We are there to follow the orders of the tanks, make sure we don’t drop too low on the meter by simultaneously staring at it and not paying too much attention to it, watch our threat but don’t dare ease back on the DPS because “OMG you lazy DPS are too slow and are killing us!”, and to respect the healers who treat us as the butt of all jokes because they are apparently naturally superior to us.  Oh, and while you are staring at the damage meter and the threat meter and watching where the hell that crazy tank is facing the boss today, make sure you don’t stand in the bad.  Even if it is expected of you, you brainless DPS.

Of course, I won’t even bother going into the fact that I must be a truly inferior DPS, being that I’m a girl, and must only be there for the Vent lols and because my ‘boyfriend’ (who is a tank/healer and therefore important) threatened to drop raid if I didn’t come.  That is a) a whole other blog post; b) something that, as far as I am aware, has never been a problem for me, just many other women and c) let’s face it, it’s a damned tired old topic.

Apparently, my complaints have gone unheeded.  I guess it is time for me to give up and just follow directions (I heard that ‘For once in your life!’, you lot in the tank corner.  Bite me).

So, here you go.

I just ask that you be careful.  My brain has been feeling particularly squooshy as of late.

And remember, I’ll probably need all that crap back when I decide to tank or heal on my Druid.  Since that apparently is much harder than my current job.  Just so you are all aware.  Thanks!

So, I was chatting with a friend after my raid tonight, and he got to his usual ranting of ‘DPS are all idiots, when I raid I assume 90% of the DPS are going to be incompetent, tanking is so much more difficult and important, yadayadayada’.

Bullshit.  Let’s dispell some dumb-ass myths here, shall we?

1.  DPS do not need to know what is going on in the fight, tanks do.

Since when does a tank need to be more aware of everything that is happening around them than a DPS?  What, my magical ‘Oh look, I’m a ranged DPS!’ bubble means I won’t die in the fire?  Or I won’t die when one of the tanks goes down, because, ’Oh, I’m just a DPS’.  Everyone in the raid should be aware of what is happening around them, regardless of what they do.  Whether I am tanking or DPSing, I have a fairly good awareness of what is going on.  The only time I am more aware of what is happening to other players is when I am healing, because, hey… that’s my job.

2.  Tanking is harder than DPSing.

So you have a much more complex job as a tank?  Let’s see….

All looks very similar to me.  Sure, you are all looking at a different side of the boss.  And you have a slightly different view of the whole ‘aggro’ issue.  But, at the end of the day, tanking isn’t automatically more complex just through the virtue of being a different role.

3.  DPS just aren’t as important as tanks.

Yuh huh.  Tell that to the enrage timer.  Or to the boss who has to ‘have that shield nuked down NOW!’ (hai there, Valkyr Twins!).  Or to your healers when they go OOM because the fight is just taking so damn long (although, according to my friend, if you use mana you must be a ‘bad’ healer…).

It’s people like this that really piss me off.  It’s even more annoying when they are friends.  Seriously…

Oh, and your “Clearly DPS aren’t as important because if you lose one, it’s not an instant wipe?” argument?

Stick it where the sun don’t shine, buddy.