Hi. I play a DPS class (2 of them, actually).
As such, I understand that the Triumvirate of Tanks (The Death Knights have yet to be allowed membership into the sacred order – go whinge about it on your own blogs, suckers) and the Holy Healership of, um, Healers require me to surrender the following, immediately:
- The will to question orders
- The ability to read anything other than a Tankspot strat, and the Elitist Jerks page for my class. Reading anything else leads to questioning. Questioning is bad.
- My brain
- A minimum of 10 years of my life, to fit into the ‘immature child’ part of the enforced stereotype
I am, however, allowed to keep the following:
- My face, because that’s how DPS plays the game, right?
- A membership in the ‘I, Uh, Duh…. DeePeeEss’ club. Whether I wanted it or not.
I have complained many a time about how DPS are perceived as stupid, selfish, greedy little bastards who care only about the meters and epeen. Apparently, it is impossible to make a great contribution to the raid as a DPS. We are there to follow the orders of the tanks, make sure we don’t drop too low on the meter by simultaneously staring at it and not paying too much attention to it, watch our threat but don’t dare ease back on the DPS because “OMG you lazy DPS are too slow and are killing us!”, and to respect the healers who treat us as the butt of all jokes because they are apparently naturally superior to us. Oh, and while you are staring at the damage meter and the threat meter and watching where the hell that crazy tank is facing the boss today, make sure you don’t stand in the bad. Even if it is expected of you, you brainless DPS.
Of course, I won’t even bother going into the fact that I must be a truly inferior DPS, being that I’m a girl, and must only be there for the Vent lols and because my ‘boyfriend’ (who is a tank/healer and therefore important) threatened to drop raid if I didn’t come. That is a) a whole other blog post; b) something that, as far as I am aware, has never been a problem for me, just many other women and c) let’s face it, it’s a damned tired old topic.
Apparently, my complaints have gone unheeded. I guess it is time for me to give up and just follow directions (I heard that ‘For once in your life!’, you lot in the tank corner. Bite me).
So, here you go.
And remember, I’ll probably need all that crap back when I decide to tank or heal on my Druid. Since that apparently is much harder than my current job. Just so you are all aware. Thanks!Tags: assholes, DPSing, epeen