Archive for the “Achievements” Category

Ok, so I am going to follow the crowd (one of those pesky Mage types must’ve sheeped me) and link my Merrymaker post from last year.  Why?  Because Blizzard have changed diddly squat!

Once again… I’m not going to get the title.  Not sure if I posted about this last year, but all I needed was the stinking PvP achievement.  Battlegrounds are not my friend.  Well, anyway, last night I decided to try and do it again.  First cab off the rank – AV.  Probably not the best for farming those kills, but I can often survive a whole AV (so I don’t lose the costume), and it’s my least hated battleground.

Anyway, I get in at the start of an AV for ONCE in my life (at the time I thought this was a good thing) and off we charge.  I decide immediately to stay with the pack, since I fail miserably at PvP and always get horribly killed if I am on my own (resilience = lol).  Unfortunately, I was not aware that the pack were MINDLESS TWATWAFFLES who charged straight to Drek without capturing ANY towers.

THEN some twatwaffle of a DK tank (who I am sure was named something idiotic, like so many of the other DK’s out there:  Noobcake?  Deathtard?  Something stupid) kept running in, dying, and then abusing us for not attacking.  HELLO Mr I-am-a-giant-twatwaffle-with-no-brain… we aren’t going to get Drek down with the damn towers still up!

So, while half of AV decided to sit there and argue about who was missing what parts of their anatomy, I got bored and annoyed with my whole TWO HK’s and embarked on a suicide mission.  Other people don’t want to get a tower?  Fine.  I’ll go get a god damned tower.  And defend it.  Because I am not a twatwaffle like SOME idiots who are whinging that people have no balls.

Of course, I die before I even get near a tower.  Duh.

And land back at the damned start of AV, because no damned twatwaffle stopped to get a graveyard either.

So… when a few more people had died, we just farmed HK’s near our base.  Which confirmed the worst of my suspicions.

This pack of Horde SUCKED ASS at PvP.  Seriously.  A group of 6 Alliance wiped out a group of 15 Horde!  They didn’t work together, they didn’t use ANY defensive abilities…. If I can beat you at PvP, then you god damn fricking fail.  Of course, more Horde rocked up and eventually just kept killing us, so we didn’t make any ground.

Eventually, we lost. Of course.  I think the Horde had 450 resources to our 0.

Twatwaffle twatwaffle twatwaffle!

 

 

…Oh, that gear post I said I was going to write?  Yeah, I was lying.  Me, gear post?  Huh?  What the heck WERE you thinking?

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***Language Alert: some fairly nasty words slip through on this post.  If you are the sensitive sort, might be an idea to skip this one***

When I was bookshopping while I was on holidays (which is where I have been rather than writing here, because, let’s face it, I do need a life outside the internets, ya know?) I came across a little book that intrigued me – “Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the rise of raunch culture”.  A flick through confirmed that the author of the book and I found the same thing in life bloody confusing -  How does prancing around half naked with a Playboy bunny symbol on your shirt make you sexually liberated?  Thus persuaded, I purchased my book, counting it as a strike against the ditzes and bimboes in the world that I seem to encounter everyday.

Well, I came home, half unpacked since I am a lazy ass, forgot about the books, and spent the week doing what I do best when it’s holidays: played WoW and ate Tim Tams.  While I was playing I decided to participate in the wonderfully timed Noblegarden holiday.

This holiday activity sounds fairly innocuous – collect eggs, eat chocolate, get a bunneh pet.  I got all that stuff done, got myself a pretty dress, a basket, and a cute set of ‘I’m totally fuckable bunneh ears’

… wait, what?

Fuckable bunneh ears?  And that’s not the end of it!  In my total ignorance of my own fricking beliefs, I screenshot said bunneh ears (perched oh so cutely on top of my sophisticated head), crop it to REALLY draw attention to my ears, and stick it up on Twitter.

Yeah.  I basically just advertised to the internet that I am a bimbo.  Saresa the Noble, my ass!

Way to go Sar, way to compromise your beliefs right there.  To be honest, I am not sure why I find the ears so appealing… I haven’t taken the picture down, despite the objections I have to it.  Guess we can just add hypocrisy to my list of faults – it’s OK to compromise all my beliefs if I look damn hot doing it!

Of course… I could look more like this chick right here: next to her I look downright Victorian Prudish.  The men sure liked her though, about as much as I liked the men in dresses!

WoWScrnShot_042609_232903

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So, the latest BA Shared Topic has come from a place where few of us venture to dare… the realm of an Angry Dwarf.  Yes, that’s right, Saithir at the Angry Dwarfs suggested this week’s topic: your favourite, bestest, PROUDEST achievements.  Well, to be totally honest… I don’t have that many achievements which I am proud of in game.  I don’t have too many, don’t have a single title (apart from Jenkins, which hardly counts), and rarely work towards them.  However, we shall see what we can get from the very slim pickings I have done.

“Did Somebody Order a Knuckle Sandwich?” – Yes, I like to punch stuff.  A lot.  So much so that I punched my way all the way to 450, with the Rocky theme playing over and over and over and over in my head.  I’m so experienced I’d totally whip Rocky’s ass right about now /flex.  Never mind that Rocky is a bajillion years old…

“Going Down” – Because I worked out how to do this a NON stupid way before pretty much everyone I know.  While guildies were running around trying to find things to jump off, I simply mounted my bird, flew into the air, and dismounted.  hey presto, E-Z Achievement!

“Shop Smart, Shop Pet… Smart” – this is kinda cheating, since I got it on my Druid.  This achievement was the result of a lot of work, and a lot of mooching off others.  Sar can take credit for teaching Hermia how to mooch effectively (note: it involves making the OTHER people feel bad that they haven’t done enough work FOR you.  A truly difficult skill to master).

Runner Up

Yeah yeah yeah, so it’s cheating… I just thought that this one deserved a special mention of its own!

“The Fishing Diplomat” – because I conquered my fear of going into a Horde city.  My only wish now is that I had done so naked, because, well… they are Orcs.  We have to give them some reason to live, right?

Since I like to add a little something extra to posts, I’m going to add my top 3 Blogging Achievements

I have had only 230 spam comments so far, and a year is almost up.  I’ll just pre-emptively award this one, hey?

And of course, the BIG DADDY of them all, the one that beats everything else on this page…

Sure, I wasn’t actually interviewed live.  To be honest, I don’t know whether the intertubes could have handled that.  I would have probably broken them.  However, it is probably one of the top experiences I have had as a blogger!

What about you?  What achievements (WoW or blog related) are you most proud of?

PS.  Matt advised me to quit blogging.  So, if I suddenly disappear… all blame him.

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So, Winter’s Veil is here.  Another holiday with a chance to get a title.  Another holiday where Sar won’t get a title.  But, heck, she’ll try her very best anyway.  And then console herself with the fact that, well, the title ‘Merrymaker’ for a Warlock is a bit odd.  A bit misleading even.  Sure, I enjoy lighting nice, toasty fires… right on people’s heads.  I do like to give strange and surprising gifts… even when they aren’t always welcome.  However, I don’t think either of these are Official Santa Sanctioned Christmas Activities.

So, for those of you who are much more likely to get the achievement and title, here are the requirements! Feel like being festive?  Well… there is TWELVE of them.  Each of them have a difficulty scale of 0-5.  Enjoy!

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Gnomes killing Gnomes in BG’s

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me

A reindeer bombing run

and Gnomes killing Gnomes in BG’s.

etc etc etc

1.  On Metzen!

Save Santa’s stupidest reindeer yet again.  Seriously.  Never mind that he has been saved year after year after year… once again he got himself kidnapped.  I am beginning to wonder whether there’s some sort of knockback system involved here – Metzen gets paid handsomely in carrots to just ‘wander away’ from his stall… fricking carrot junkie.  Screw Metzen, this year I’m heading to Ibiza instead!

holly-icon1Pain in the ass level: 1/2 sprig of holly jabbed up the proverbial.

2.  With A Little Helper From My Friends

Is this meant to be a poke at gnomes not looking scary?  If so, I just don’t get the joke… Gnomes terrify me! Although it will be amusing to see the gnome on gnome carnage.  The biggest pain in the patoot here is that the costume wears off when you die.  Can anyone else imagine at least a few trips to the BG’s?

Oh, and Doodads… sucks to be you!!

holly-icon1 Pain in the ass level: 4 sprigs of holly jabbed up the proverbial

3.  Scrooge

Throwing snowballs at leaders?  This I can totally advocate!

holly-icon1Pain in the ass level: 0 holly jabbed up the proverbial

4.  Fa-la-la-la-Orgi’la

Well, for most people this is fairly easy.  For me… um… am I even attuned properly?  Hmmm.  As a Very Important Note, for lazy cheaters like me, you do not have to complete the quest with your mount transformed.  You just have to hand it in with the reindeer suit on your poor Netherdrake (or whatever the heck you may have).  Expect to see Ogril’la hopping again!

holly-icon1Pain in the ass level:  Attuned: 1/2 a sprig of holly

                                     Unattuned: 3 sprigs of holly jabbed up the proverbial

5.  ‘Tis the Season

Dressing up in a skanky Christmas outfit might be good for some people out there (I’m looking at you Blood Elves), but it really isn’t my cup of tea.  Nor is fruitcake, to be entirely honest – they say you are what you eat, and I have enough people calling me crazy as it is.  However, I am willing to grin it and bear it for the achievement.  All I need to do is sew my self some clothes, suck up to a leatherworker, smack a Mage around (gogo Nexus!), and munch on some Fruitcake!  How easy does it get?

holly-icon1Pain in the ass level: 1 sprig of holly up the proverbial

6.  Crashin’ and Thrashin’

A racer to crash into stuff?!  Almost as fun as throwing snowballs!!

holly-icon1Pain in the ass level: 0 holly jabbed up the proverbial.

7.  Simply Abominable

Pack up your tent, ‘cos we’re going camping!  One mob.  Thousands of players.  One achievement.  Be the fastest to click on the damn mob!  Have fun NOT clicking on someone who flags themselves instead of the mob!  Oh, the endless joy that is waiting on a respawn.  Pack your snowflakes for Let it Snow – they might come in useful here.

holly-icon1Pain in the ass level: 3 sprigs of holly jabbed up the proverbial

8.  Let it Snow

Throwing snowflakes on people.  Why can’t it be snow balls?  Snowballs of DOOM!!!!  Oh, wait… not any random people?  They have to match a defined race/class criteria?  And I can’t go to Dalaran without disconnecting?  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?  And where am I going to find a Dwarf Paladin!

holly-icon1Pain in the ass level: 2 holly jabbed up the proverbial.

9.  Bro’s before Ho Ho Ho’s

The biggest source of whining since the Warlock Forums.  Who has it easier – Alliance or Horde?  Which side does Blizzard favour most?  How come your side gets everything on a platter?  Yeah, well. we had to trek out ALL the way to VC in YOUR stinking land!  Hey, WE weren’t stupid enough to do YOUR instances!

…. What was the point of the quest again?  Oh… throw snowflakes at religious people.  Riiiiiight.  Does the Dwarf Pally count?  How about a bunch of Priests?  Oh… damn.

holly-icon1Pain in the ass level: Actual quest: 1 sprig of holly

                                    Listening to whining about quest: 5 sprigs of holly jabbed up the proverbial

10.  The Winter Veil Gourmet

Driving up the prices of small eggs and cooking consumables everywhere!  This one has three different pain in the rear levels (just because it’s special).  I fit squarely into pain level number 2, with a cooking skill of one and a good reputation with the Goblins.  Those unfortunate souls who decided to grind their Bloodsail rep AND neglected to level their cooking are, well, screwed.  Achievement requires 325 cooking.

holly-icon1Pain in the ass level: If you can cook:  1 sprig of holly

                                    If you can’t cook: 3 sprigs of holly

                                    If you are a non-cooking pirate: The whole holly bush jabbed up the proverbial!

11.  He Knows if You’ve Been Naughty

Opening presents is almost as fun as setting people on fire.  Almost.

holly-icon1Pain in the ass level: 0 holly jabbed up the proverbial

12.  A Frosty Shake

Get ahold of a snowman costume by doing the quests you need to do anyway.  Wait for it to land in your letterbox.  Make it to Dalaran without crashing.  /dance with another snowman while dressed as a snowman.  How hard can it get?  Well, it all depends on your net… and computer…

holly-icon1Pain in the ass level: 1 sprig of holly jabbed up the proverbial

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