The world of Azeroth has changed since the last time I logged in (oh, what… 6 or so months ago? I don’t even remember anymore, but it feels like forever anyway). Transmogrifithingy is coming in (so I hear). Portals are gone (I think that happened before I left?). Mages are even stupider than I previously thought. The Stormwind Auction House is… well, different! I’m sure of it! (Please please pleeeeeeeease tell me it moved… don’t tell me I’m hallucinating).
But, oh my goodness me… they took away my keyring? What is with that?
Oh keyring, you followed me everywhere
You held my many keys, and did not complain,
You bound them together, whether they be encrusted in blood,
or poop, or other unmentionable bodily fluids…
And you let me in to so many places.
(Alas, a key for Thrall’s Chastity Belt could not be found… Woe is me. I think Jaina stole it!)
Oh keyring, you made me feel special.
You reminded me that I could go where others could not,
You had so many memories attached to you,
horrible quest chains of never ending torment
Boulderfist Key, just to remind me, of course, that a real Warlock never frees prisoners
(Because, hey, that’s what Mages are for, right?
… And, besides, that Corki is bloody stupid.)
My keyring, you made me feel superior,
to every plebian player who did not have the beautiful array of keys I carried.
You took up so little space in my beautiful interface,
And when I opened you, you made me smile,
Because you told me, that deep down inside, I was better than everyone else.
(Except for everyone who had all the same keys as me. I guess we were equal.)
(… But better than everyone who had less. Or more. Because that’s just how it is.)
(… And definitely better than the Mages.)
Besides, what WOULD Medivh, and all those other keepers of wonderful places, say now, knowing that their doors are unlocked, and waiting for intruders? What would they say?Tags: Where is my keyring?