Hi.  I play a DPS class (2 of them, actually).

As such, I understand that the Triumvirate of Tanks (The Death Knights have yet to be allowed membership into the sacred order – go whinge about it on your own blogs, suckers) and the Holy Healership of, um, Healers require me to surrender the following, immediately:

  • The will to question orders
  • The ability to read anything other than a Tankspot strat, and the Elitist Jerks page for my class.  Reading anything else leads to questioning.  Questioning is bad.
  • My brain
  • A minimum of 10 years of my life, to fit into the ‘immature child’ part of the enforced stereotype

I am, however, allowed to keep the following:

  • My face, because that’s how DPS plays the game, right?
  • A membership in the ‘I, Uh, Duh…. DeePeeEss’ club.  Whether I wanted it or not.

I have complained many a time about how DPS are perceived as stupid, selfish, greedy little bastards who care only about the meters and epeen.  Apparently, it is impossible to make a great contribution to the raid as a DPS.  We are there to follow the orders of the tanks, make sure we don’t drop too low on the meter by simultaneously staring at it and not paying too much attention to it, watch our threat but don’t dare ease back on the DPS because “OMG you lazy DPS are too slow and are killing us!”, and to respect the healers who treat us as the butt of all jokes because they are apparently naturally superior to us.  Oh, and while you are staring at the damage meter and the threat meter and watching where the hell that crazy tank is facing the boss today, make sure you don’t stand in the bad.  Even if it is expected of you, you brainless DPS.

Of course, I won’t even bother going into the fact that I must be a truly inferior DPS, being that I’m a girl, and must only be there for the Vent lols and because my ‘boyfriend’ (who is a tank/healer and therefore important) threatened to drop raid if I didn’t come.  That is a) a whole other blog post; b) something that, as far as I am aware, has never been a problem for me, just many other women and c) let’s face it, it’s a damned tired old topic.

Apparently, my complaints have gone unheeded.  I guess it is time for me to give up and just follow directions (I heard that ‘For once in your life!’, you lot in the tank corner.  Bite me).

So, here you go.

cardboard-box-open-lgI just ask that you be careful.  My brain has been feeling particularly squooshy as of late.

And remember, I’ll probably need all that crap back when I decide to tank or heal on my Druid.  Since that apparently is much harder than my current job.  Just so you are all aware.  Thanks!

Tags: , ,
7 Responses to “Because My Life Isn’t Complete If I Don’t Rant About This Every Couple Of Months.”
  1. I always love your rants! I must say you are correct. This attitude is not fair.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  2. I always thought raid healing was so much more relaxing/easy than raid DPSing…

    *waits for people to misinterpret the comment* *whistles innocently*

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  3. lol. Absolutely. DPS doesn’t get the credit it deserves. And it’s not fair.

    Though, yeah, I’m going to whine in your comments . . . no more unfair than your derision of DK tanks. I’ve played both DK tank and DPS. Grouped with both DK tank and DPS, seen both good and bad DK tanking and DPSing. If you’ve never had the chance to dps with or heal a DK tank who is specced and geared well, knows how to spike threat early in a fight, maintain it and chain his mitigation cooldowns at the right time . . . well that’s a shame. It makes for an awesome tank.
    Jack´s last blog post ..Oomshakalaka- The Molten Core

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  4. @Pike: I agree wholeheartedly. I never stressed too much raid healing, at least not until all the other healers had better gear than I did and I looked like a slacker… funnily enough, kinda like how you feel doing DPS!

    @Jack: LOL, I wasn’t mocking DK tanks so much as the general perception of Death Knights within the tanking community. However, I don’t have a DK, I haven’t tanked since BC, and I am utterly unqualified to discuss that topic (that being said, I have had a mixture of experiences with them).

    But yeah, if I was mocking DK tanks? It would be a hell of a lot more apparent than what I just wrote (I actually fail to see how I was mocking them, apart from the word ‘suckers!’). My derision is always very strongly worded, and very obvious. See anything I have said about Mages for proof ;-)

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  5. Finally, you got something right in your blog. Healers are better than all of you….

    J/K Warlocks rock!

    /wave Krixx & Zorbax (and Sar)

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  6. I need to write a little blog post about black rock depths and the tanking run where I had a warlock healer… I kid you not. The warlock made me a health stone before every pull including the bosses and it actually kept me alive because our tree …was five… or on drugs… we think. Hooray for excellent dps! Hooray for talented warlocks :D
    Lactic Acid´s last blog post ..Worgen Innuendo- a list compiled from everywhere

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  7. [...] Spark post from destructive reaches rant post. [...]

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0