Why Lobby When We Can Just Blast Them? July 10, 2009

Brought to you via a Blog Azeroth Shared Topic!

Euripides of OutDPS suggested a really interesting Shared Topic for this week – What would happen if there were WoW Lobbyists?  After all, there are just as many people who play WoW as there are who hunt (according to the statistics), and the Gun Lobby in the US is supposedly a powerful thing indeed (here in Australia, we don’t even have one, and if we did, well…. they wouldn’t be especially powerful.  I guess they are kinda like the Shooter’s Party).  What if we could bring our power to bear (not as in Druids) and force those nasty politicians to do what we want?

Unfortunately, I don’t think a WoW lobby would work at all.  Frankly… the lesser classes would bring it down.  The Warlocks would have to do ALL the work (as usual), and since there’s a lot less Warlocks than there is everyone else, the whole thing would just be a shambles.  Just imagine…

• A Paladin meets the President to try to get WoW players, oh… better internet? *shrugs*  Talk would soon disintegrate into ‘My Hammer is so Awesome!’ and other illogical babbling, along with their usual pacifist ‘noooo, we can’t kill the sick people who will infect everyone else and wipe all of humanity out!  It’s just not NICE!”
• A Mage comes along to try and resolve the situation, since they have ’superior Intellect’ and all.  Unfortunately, a Secret Service guy thinks the Mage looks questionable (so… I am guessing it’s a Gnome Mage who is approaching then), and the Mage overreacts and sheeps the guy.  Mayhem ensues.
• So the Priest rocks up to try and save the day.  They stub their toe along the way and keel over, dead.  Yes, the Priest, once again, forgot to heal themselves.
• The Death Knight, being a creature of little brain, spies the dead Priest keeled over, immediately thinks that the President must have killed him, and charges into get revenge.
• The Rogue sees the opportunity to carry out their assassination plot and tries to help the Death Knight… but subtlely, so that the DK is the one thrown in jail for killing the bloody President.
• The Druid just Shadowmelds and waits… typical.
• The Hunter tries to trap the idiot DK, succeeds in stepping in their own trap and setting their pet on the dead Priest… I guess the kitty was hungry?
• The Warrior keeps yelling for everyone to attack him, but all the other people have WAY too much aggro by now, and they just get ignored.  Bored, they start punching a wall, and get arrested for destroying public property.
• The Shaman is so confused by which totem is the most appropriate for this mess that he doesn’t achieve anything at all.  Meanwhile, people are getting into a weird frenzy of slapping, sheeping, poking and /spitting.
• Finally, the Warlock /sighs, kills most everyone with a nasty bout of AoE, and then sets about making it look like it was the Druid’s fault all along, while muttering to themselves how bloody stupid everyone is.

So, essentially… a WoW lobby would bring about the end of the world.  One way or another.  Although the situation might have been avoided if the damn Mage had remembered to cast Intelligence on everyone!

Related posts:

1. Shared Topic: What would a WoW Movie Be About?
2. WoW.com Could Be Hiring You!
3. A Change is as Good as a Holiday?
4. Shared Topic – Penalty Systems and Entitlement In WoW
5. Your Warlock’s Achievement is Lacking