I finally got a chance to talk WoW to a real life friend of mine. Now, I don’t usually talk WoW in real life at all, as most of you probably know. I don’t have many friends who play the game, and it’s just one of those things non-WoWers just don’t understand. However, I have been waiting to talk to this friend for a while, because I have been considering a server transfer for quite a while now, and his guild sounded like it might be interesting.
Now, I am totally putting the cart before the horse here and getting all caught up in things before I know for sure what is happening. He still has to talk to the GM, I still have to make up my mind, not to mention the small fact that I need to be able to spare the money at the time and I need to talk to the GM and all that fun stuff. However, it really is something that I am tossing over in my mind, and it’s a difficult choice.
I absolutely adore 99% of my current guildies. Really, I do. They are all such fantastic people, and I have made some exceptionally great friends on Cenarius over the years. My RL friend pooh poohs this, of course, but I am the sort of person who can get along just as well with someone over the internet as I can in real life, if not better. I have no doubts that I will meet people who are just as wonderful, but it will still really hurt to leave all my Cenarius friends. Of course, Hermia is staying on Cenarius, at least in the short term, but as much as I could promise I will log on all the time… I know that I won’t. It will be just like when I left my old guild, and my log ins on my other characters just slowly dwindled away. Doesn’t mean I won’t resolve to log in there and say hi fairly often, I guess!
The other issue is the same one I come across every time I change guilds or run with someone new. It’s the real reason why I avoid PuGs, why I preface everything I do with ‘please be patient, I am a total noob’, and probably why I haven’t looked for a raiding guild sooner – I just don’t have any confidence in my ability to play. I know deep down inside that I am not a bad player. Certainly not what I would term a good one either, but definitely not a bad one. However, this doesn’t stop me from feeling scared that I won’t be good enough, that I will be forced to change and do things I don’t like doing to be better, and all those sorts of things.
And, of course, there’s the whole ‘playing with RL friends’ thing. It’s been a long time since I have played with people I know IRL, and it’s kinda scary. I don’t want my real life friends knowing what a noob I am!
I really just have no idea what to do. I swear, I have spent less time wracking my brain over much more consequential things than this!