After my bold claims in yesterday’s blog entry, Matticus has now challenged me to back them up with 12 reasons why Warlocks are indeed the Adonises of Azeroth. Now, my fellow Warlocks would need no further explanation of our absolute superiority in all areas, whether it be on the battlefield or in the bedroom. Sure, I will admit we may not be so great to date, but hey, nobody’s perfect (and we come pretty damn close!)

12. Stamina to spare

With our incredibly high stamina, Warlocks can last for hours. Unlike some other wimpy cloth wearers who simply collapse before you even begin, a Warlock can keep you going long into the night (and then some!)


11. We bring out the wild side in you

Those who are afraid to try new things or be adventurous will discover their hidden Recklessness when paired with a Warlock. Soon enough you’ll be engaging in all manner of things!

10. Take your time

On the other hand, if you have problems with being too *ahem* fast, a Curse of Tongues or two will slow things right down (and be fun all at the same time).

9. Slowly ticking away

Our notoriety for killing things oh so slowly follows us into the bedroom. With the stamina to match, we can DoT you up and go all night long. No sudden explosions or early endings from Warlocks – every careful movement is precisely timed and mastered.

8. Put a bit of fire into your relationship

Sure, we are known for our shadowy coolness. Look behind that dark demeanour and you will find a passionate fire burning within. Warlocks are hot!

7. There’s a fine line between pleasure and pain…

As every Life Tapping, Hellfiring Warlock knows all to well! We are the masters of this particular balancing act.

6. Now you’re hot… and cold

With an absolute plethora of interesting… companions at out disposal, some Warlocks are game for just about anything. We wont tell if you don’t.


5. Experience a rebel

We all know that you are attracted to the dark side. The oh so alluring mystique of that person who doesn’t seem to give a damn… who almost has no soul at all. Those who linger in the shadows never want to leave afterwards

4. Never run out of tricks

Ever been with a caster who just ran out of tricks? Half way through, they run out of mana, and just flail their wand about in an attempt to distract you from their sloth like state. Warlocks always have a new trick up their sleeve, and always have the mana to pull it off.

3. Ready to ignite at any given moment

We always warm our lovers up with a toasty Immolate, but never forget to ensure the explosive Conflagrate comes right at the end!

2. Always ready with a pick me up afterwards

Who else offers cookies in the morning?

1. Trained by the best in the business.

Have you ever met Domxia? She certainly has taught me a thing or two. Perhaps I should arrange an introduction…

17 Responses to “12 Reasons why Warlocks are the best lovers”
  1. hihi, I really enjoyed this one.

    If I am to confess: Warlocks definitely have some appeal… though I could never say no to a rogue *blush* just don’t tell anyone I said so :P

    Aendis last blog post..OOC: Blogs Need Vacations Too

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  2. [...] She uses my own trademark list posts against me (score!) and provides 12 Reasons Why Warlocks are the Best Lovers. [...]

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  3. Warlocks are clearly the best lovers, no doubt about that. But which partners are best for a warlock?

    Elfs last blog post..Sap Considered Harmful

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  4. Druids! They can hot themselves up and endure it all. :D

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  5. Ooooh, a topic for a whole new post!!!!!

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  6. [...] of Azeroth, I have just read that warlock blogger Saresa has just made public claims that Warlocks make the best lovers! This is unacceptable at best. Those cloth-wearing, emo demon fanatics have nothing on us, the [...]

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  7. Warriors for sure. They can take more than any warlock any day. ;)

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  8. That was funny. Well done!

    Joels last blog post..Hymn of Breaking Strain

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  9. [...] of a long story but the upshot, as I understand it, is that he provoked Saresa to write a list of a dozen reasons why Warlocks are the best lovers. This was followed by a post from The Pugnacious Priest on why it’s actually shadow [...]

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  10. Muahahaha!

    My fiance plays a warlock, and when I passed this on, I think he literally ROFLMAO’d.

    Isisxotics last blog post..Priest Racials Removed

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  11. Haha, awesome post, I loved it!

    I used to play WoW in a particularly boring Art History class of mine, and I was playing my undead warlock!

    Believe it or not, fishing in WoW was more interesting than the lecture haha.

    Warlocks are awesome, this list eloquently explains it all :D

    Kiyomis last blog post..10 Man Raids and Getting Ready for WotLK

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  12. [...] Durids are for lolz? « Destructive Reach home page « 12 Reasons why Warlocks are the best lovers [...]

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  13. [...] got Saresa up in arms about why Warlocks make great lovers after he declared that Warlocks are not his type. Matt then challenged his readers to defend the [...]

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  14. [...] got yer Warlocks! Then ye got yer Captains! And yer goody two shoes Pal-eh-din! A lot of mateys believe that [...]

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  15. Better late than never! I must admit, this was one of the more enjoyable posts to write, and I was thrilled to see the reception it received. Of course, I can’t take any credit for the concept behind it, but the content is all mine (brought to you by one perverse little brain).

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  16. I know I’m pretty late to this party, but this post was fun. How evil locks can be. I won’t even try to come up with an equivalent post for priests, it would pale in comparison to this one.

    Karines last blog post..Got my hair did

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  17. [...] Destructive Reach - 12 Reasons Why Warlocks Are the Best Lovers [...]

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