After my bold claims in yesterday’s blog entry, Matticus has now challenged me to back them up with 12 reasons why Warlocks are indeed the Adonises of Azeroth. Now, my fellow Warlocks would need no further explanation of our absolute superiority in all areas, whether it be on the battlefield or in the bedroom. Sure, I will admit we may not be so great to date, but hey, nobody’s perfect (and we come pretty damn close!)
12. Stamina to spare
With our incredibly high stamina, Warlocks can last for hours. Unlike some other wimpy cloth wearers who simply collapse before you even begin, a Warlock can keep you going long into the night (and then some!)
11. We bring out the wild side in you
Those who are afraid to try new things or be adventurous will discover their hidden Recklessness when paired with a Warlock. Soon enough you’ll be engaging in all manner of things!
10. Take your time
On the other hand, if you have problems with being too *ahem* fast, a Curse of Tongues or two will slow things right down (and be fun all at the same time).
9. Slowly ticking away
Our notoriety for killing things oh so slowly follows us into the bedroom. With the stamina to match, we can DoT you up and go all night long. No sudden explosions or early endings from Warlocks – every careful movement is precisely timed and mastered.
8. Put a bit of fire into your relationship
Sure, we are known for our shadowy coolness. Look behind that dark demeanour and you will find a passionate fire burning within. Warlocks are hot!
7. There’s a fine line between pleasure and pain…
As every Life Tapping, Hellfiring Warlock knows all to well! We are the masters of this particular balancing act.
6. Now you’re hot… and cold
With an absolute plethora of interesting… companions at out disposal, some Warlocks are game for just about anything. We wont tell if you don’t.
5. Experience a rebel
We all know that you are attracted to the dark side. The oh so alluring mystique of that person who doesn’t seem to give a damn… who almost has no soul at all. Those who linger in the shadows never want to leave afterwards
4. Never run out of tricks
Ever been with a caster who just ran out of tricks? Half way through, they run out of mana, and just flail their wand about in an attempt to distract you from their sloth like state. Warlocks always have a new trick up their sleeve, and always have the mana to pull it off.
3. Ready to ignite at any given moment
We always warm our lovers up with a toasty Immolate, but never forget to ensure the explosive Conflagrate comes right at the end!
2. Always ready with a pick me up afterwards
Who else offers cookies in the morning?
1. Trained by the best in the business.
Have you ever met Domxia? She certainly has taught me a thing or two. Perhaps I should arrange an introduction…